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I am 85 male .

Posted by DNOM

26 Jan 2013

I am an 85 year old male and just found out that the reason i have been gradually getting weaker is the dreaded COPD. I think it was because I was a carer for my darling wife who I lost in May last year involved a lot of tele watching and inactivity when I was a fairly active person and up till then put gradual decline down to old age and was at least as good as my friends. As you can imagine I am truly lost without her. We had a wonderful life together and we both recognised right up to the end how lucky we were to have gone for it togethet. I am so sorry that you all seem to be so young I hope that my experience helps yoy and that I can slow down my rapid decline by following some of yours

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33 comments

annieseed

26 Jan 2013

Not far behind you DNOM, believe me! So very sorry to hear about your wife. We are both at the stage where all we can do is to look back and think about all the memories that we have. Once, I left the 70s, because of breathing problems, I did slow up considerably. I had to change my attitude to my situation which wasn't easy. I have a buggy and a rollator and do manage to get out.

It may help if you need to talk, approach a bereavement counsellor. I dont know whether you have friends or family nearby. Yu certainly could meet some very friendly people in this forum.
Good luck, all the best from Annie80

DNOM

26 Jan 2013

Hi Annie 80 thanks for your kind thoughts, I am very lucky to have two wonderful children and a loving family and friends, who kept an eye on both of us. I feel very content that my wife past away in her sleep held in my arms when she was full of plans for our continuing life together. Wonderful memories sustain me and reading about the apalling benefit cuts that other people are suffering from make me very content with my lot,
love DNOM

annieseed

26 Jan 2013

What will be of help to you, DNOM, is your positive attitude to life. You did the best thing by talking to us. What wonderful memories you do have, and the fact that you are aware of other people's problems. Bye from Annie80
.

sylb

26 Jan 2013

Welcome to the site DNOM. I am so sorry you lost your dear wife last year, if ever you want to talk you know you can always come here and like Annie80 said we are very friendly and willing to listen or give advice. Take care. Syl xx

DNOM

26 Jan 2013

Hi sylb so nice to know that people care, you will see from my reply to Annie80 that I am one of the very lucky ones coming to terms with being told that I have copd at my age and wondering how much I can regain is quite interesting. I realise that something is going to get me I have a lot of different ailments the most annoying being digestion on the other hand up to now I have been able to sleep and rest comfortably in my reclining chair and snuggle down to to escape in this awfull weather is very appealing, I realise that I have to now find a balance between rest and exercise, as far as my mental health my only worry is dying gracefully I just hope that I am lucky enough to depart in my sleep,without being a nusiance to the family they all know that we have all had a wonderful life together and that I am quite happy and not frightened to take my place in the ancestral role.
love DNOM

sylb

26 Jan 2013

DNOM you sound like such a lovely man and I don't think for one moment that anybody would find you a nuisance . I would ask your GP to refer you for a pr course, I have not been on one myself but from what I have read on here they do a lot of good in the management of COPD, also there is the easybreath groups you could join, there you would find like minded people . I am sure someone will be along soon a will be able to give you more information than I can. Keep your pecker up lots of hugs Syl xx

sylb

26 Jan 2013

Sorry DNOM it's Breathe Easy not easybreath as I put x

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

Thanks for the info I am learning fast I have just had tests with a consultant to find out what stage I am at and how fast it is progressing he seems a very easy to get on with and not pulling any punches I hope I am prepared for any eventuality as gracefully as possible I have had more than my share of good luck so far
DNOMxxx

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

Thank you sylb
DNOMxx

Katlover

26 Jan 2013

Welcome DNOM. I can not imagine how it is to lose your wife after you had so many wonderful years together.

I have only been a member of this site for a relatively short amount of time

But you will be hard pushed to find anywhere that has the abundance of kindness, care, compassion, understanding, support and advice that you will find here

Kat
xxx

DNOM

26 Jan 2013

Thanks Kat We planned it together and I realise just how very lucky I have been. love DNOM

Lnne

26 Jan 2013

Hello Dnom. Welcome to the site. You will find support and friendship here, although nothing can replace your dear wife, I know. Good to hear you have such supportive children.

Lynne xx

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

thank you Lynne

love DNOMxx

auntymary

26 Jan 2013

Welcome to the site DNOM. I hope you get as much from it as I have.

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

thats what I am hoping for. I need to learn fast how to deal with this

Puffthemagicdragon

26 Jan 2013

Hi DNOM and welcome.

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

Thanks Puffthemagic ragon

gillyj

26 Jan 2013

Hi DNOM, what a wonderful life you and your wife have shared, I envy you that (in a nice way) as my marriage ended in divorce many years ago and as a result of the damage he did to me I have found it hard to have relationships. I am not looking for pity as I am happy with my life. I guess what I am trying to say is treasure your memories and do your best to make her proud. xxxxx

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

Well said gilly ,we deliberately made sure we enjoyed the most wonderful experiences we could afford. You can't take it with you and Doris my wife used to say "been there seen it, got the T shirt" I remember her saying to the ambulance men because she had such a wonderful empathy and presence with people that people would talk to us right away. one said he was thinking of selling their house and travelling the world on the proceeds for as long as it lasts," go for it" she said .after a life time of hard work you realise just how short it is and you must not waste a minute of it. I am so sorry that things hav'nt worked out for you but make sure you make the most of what you have left you only have one chance .

love DNOMxxx

cofdrop

26 Jan 2013

Hello DNOM

Welcome - really nice to meet you. So sorry to hear of the passing of your dear wife. From the way you talk about her she sounds very precious and you must have some lovely memories of your wonderful life together.

I love your attitude to life DNOM and I reckon I could learn a few lessons from you - yes indeed.

Look forward to reading many more of your posts.

Love C xxx

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

of course I miss her and I will tell you more about her in time I am really overwhelmed with all you lovely people

love DNOMxxx

mapal

26 Jan 2013

Hello DNOM.

You sound an absolutely lovely man who must have made your wife very happy.

I am sure your life experiences and positive attitude can help us all.

I do hope we can support you.

Big hug!

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

Thankyou mapal You sure are
love DNOMxxx

Wendells

27 Jan 2013

Big welcome from me too!! How wonderful to have had such a happy life, with your dear wife,you must miss her so much.But at least you are blessed with your children being supportive,i'm sure they would be very proud of you.
Do keep blogging,we would love to hear how you are keeping.
Love from Wendells xxx

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

thank you so much Wendells
love Dnomxxx

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

I am looking at my apalling spelling and punctuation my wife the 'expert' is not here to vet it I am sure she would be squirming with embarrasment, but I hope you can make sense of it. It is a pity that there is no spell check on the site, that would help, but it it would not help ' it does not make sense' she would say, because I get carried away with my thoughts and forget what the point was. I will try harder not to let her down.
DNOM

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

For point it should be "SUBJECT" by the way I set my self some exercise objectives and found that with a good airing I am not any worse than I was a few months ago so thanks for the encouragement
DNOM

annieseed

28 Jan 2013

i like to spell and punctuate well, but dont it think it should be an issue if you cant. The idea is to get your message across - never mind the frills!! Relax and enjoy a chat with us. Your wife would be very pleased that you have joined us! Annie80x

DNOM

28 Jan 2013

I'm sure she would I will have to try and get the hang of it, my trouble is I am to impatient and and let my subjects run away with me she always said I could do it I will try harder just for her.
DNOMxx

katieoxo60

27 Jan 2013

welcome DNOM, sorry to hear you recently lost your wife.You sound very positive about the future to spite this and a COPD diagnosis. Hope to hear from you again often with your words of wisdom, don't worry about the spelling we all understand, just keep posting .

DNOM

27 Jan 2013

Thank youkatieoxo60
DNOM

alice14

30 Jan 2013

hello DNOM sorry about your sad los of your wife and then being told you have COPD
you have a lot to cope with puts me to shame . I think you sound marvellous and you have inspired me to get off my bot and try the wii fit again to try and loose the weight I have put on with stopping smoking. Take good care x

DNOM

30 Jan 2013

Hi alice14
I am just your bog standard male you are all making me sound exceptional. With regard to weight loss, I have just found out that I should be having some saturated fats as I am losing weight fast on all the low fat diets and dairy makes mucus for me so its eggs and sausage for me. any way I have just had a chest scan and see the consultant next week to see what happens next, I feel so weak this past week hoping thaat the diet will give me a lift

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